Blood Clot

Ever since I got Pregnant I figured I was going to have a pretty easy pregnancy. I was one of the lucky ones that didn't ever get sick. Seriously up until a about a week ago, everything was smooth sailing. Not going to lie I was VERY pleased about it :) People always told me that by not having morning sickness and other issues in the first trimester just meant I would get 'hit hard' some other way. I guess I was just thinking that meant maybe my labor would be a bit longer than normal but honestly that didn't scare me because I would have the drugs :)

Well about a week ago I started having a slight cramping pain in my hip. I honestly thought I had just pulled my hip flexer muscle while dancing. I mean c'mon I was STILL trying to dance while so big and pregnant. Of course I was bound to pull something! I kept trying to stretch it but nothing seemed to help! I couldn't figure out what kind of stretch to stretch the pain. It got pretty frustrating!

I figured maybe I wasn't walking enough, because I was also experiencing back pain, especially the days that I work. I work as a secretary for my dad and sit at a desk all day long. So, I thought maybe all I need to do is walk a few miles a day? I really had know idea or what to expect... I mean, this IS my first pregnancy.

Well on Sunday night. The pain in my hip got pretty bad. I figured well... it has been a lazy Sunday, (who isn't lazy on Sundays?) I put a heat pad on my hip and that didn't do much. So, I took off doing laps up and down my stairs trying to get myself moving, instead of being a couch potato. Bad idea.

I jumped in the shower and when I got out, my whole left leg felt weird. It was purple and huge! Yes, Alek made fun of me for this but, I pulled out the measuring tape and compared my right leg to my left. Every spot on my left leg, thighs all the way down to my ankles, were 3 inches bigger around than my right! I started freaking out! I'm a big worrier so of course I pulled out my phone and started googling my symptoms. Usually, every time I do this, it freaks me out even more.

Seen this before? I have run across it a few times on Pinterest and laugh every time. I'ts definitely something I do! This time though, I'm glad I did turn to Google for help. Every single website, person, etc said it was symptoms of a blood clot and to call Doctor right away.

I was still second guessing Google because seriously, what does the internet know?? It was almost 11pm so I didn't want to call my doctor. The insta-care was closed. The only option was the E.R. I decided to sleep on it and see how I felt in the morning. Ha, sleep? I was too worried to be able to sleep! I wanted to call and talk to my mom and get her opinion before I went in. Doesn't matter how old you are, nothing beats the advice of your mom! I kept checking the time on my phone all night long. I wanted to call her but didn't want to in the middle of the night. Finally at 4:45am, I couldn't wait any longer and I called her. She told me it sounded like a good idea to head to the E.R. So, Alek and I got up and drove to the hospital. It really is so nice that we live so dang close!

We got there at 5am and didn't leave until 11:30am. It was soooooooooo long!!! 3/4 of the time we were just sitting in our room waiting. While the other 1/4 I was actually getting tests done. We were both getting so impatient and grumpy!!! The worst part was how hungry we were. Ahhhh don't ever let a pregnant woman get that hungry! My claws almost came out! And all the Doctors and Nurses would walk by our room eating yummy, delicious snacks. :( I was not a very pleasant person.

Anyways, they did a bunch of tests, poking and jabbing me everywhere and did an ultrasound on my leg. Sure enough there was a big ol' giant blood clot in my hip! :( It was almost a relief, because finally I knew what was causing me so much pain! On the plus side, I did get another ultrasound of my baby boy to make sure everything was good. He's one big healthy boy! Measuring 26 weeks when I'm only 24 weeks. Hopefully that means he'll come early?? Fingers crossed.

So, the bad news.... They have a blood thinning pill they give to people with blood clots. But, oh wait, I'm pregnant and of course pregnant people can't take that certain pill. So, what's the other option? Shots.

I have to give myself shots twice a day, starting now until I have my baby.

When they told me that, I'm pretty sure my jaw dropped to the floor. I have about 3 months left... 90 days. twice a day. THAT'S 180 SHOTS!!!!! I'm not a needle person. Period. (shiver)

AND to top it all off.... I found out today from my OBGYN that all my future pregnancies will be the same way. Self given shots the whole pregnancy. I joked and told Alek, well I guess he'll be our only child! ;) Not really. But I will think twice next time when I start getting baby hungry again. Might make our kids more spread out than we were originally planning.

After we finally left the E.R. we headed straight to Village inn for breakfast. Ahhhh best tasting food I've eaten in awhile! We were STARVING! Then, we had to drive to Ogden because the Doctor in Logan said it would be best to have the specialist see me. We were both exhausted. Poor Al, had to drive while I just passed out in the car. I felt guilty sleeping :(

The Ogden Dr. didn't say a whole lot. Just to be careful. The thing they are worried about now is the Blood clot flaking off and little pieces travel to my heart or lungs and starting another clot there. SCARY! He said the chances of that happening are slim now that I'm starting the blood thinning shots, but I still need to be careful! I've been praying like crazy.

Remember at the beginning of this post when I talked about being 'hit hard' and me thinking it would be a longer labor but that didn't matter because I would have the drugs? Well it turns out you CAN'T get an epidural when you are injecting yourself with blood thinners. I might have swore a couple times. I'm the type of person that says "Oh, you went natural? Well you're obviously a lot stronger than me and possibly a lil crazy. ;) But how awesome for you!" Me? I want every single drug available. If it's an option, WHY NOT?!

But, now all of a sudden.... natural birth might just happen. I've thrown a few tantrums already. My OBGYN says there's a chance they can schedule a date to induce me around my due date and then stop taking the shots for 24 hours and then I'll be able to get an epidural but she said that mentally preparing for natural birth is a good idea. To quote her, "Plenty of women do it all the time. You'll be fine. Just start practicing your breathing techniques." Grrrrr.

My mom went into labor with all her kids at least two weeks early. Where my baby is already measuring bigger than normal, I'm thinking I will do the same. Hopefully, SOME HOW it will work out that I can plan to stop taking the shots 24 hours prior to going into labor and I'll be able to get the epidural and everything will be dandy. Any prayers sent my way will be much appreciated!! ;)

Anyways, the Doctors gave me Loritab for the pain because the pain in my leg has gotten so bad. I seriously limp everywhere I go. I look like a gimp. It was nice at the hospital because Alek and the nurses pushed me in the wheel chair everywhere. I loved it! But now sitting at home I definitely think twice about getting up and eating food or peeing. But awww so far the Loritab has been great :)

I do have to say... that my husband had been AMAZING!  He has helped me out soo much these passed few days. He is always helping me walk, running in and getting my prescription when I don't want to walk that far, and buying me treats. He has even been the one to give me my shots so far! I'm such a wimp, he has bravely taken on the role of shot injector. Really he is the best. He even gave me a priesthood blessing. Man, I could not be thankful enough. I'm so proud and blessed that he holds the priesthood and lives up to those covenants! Love him more than words could say!

Here's to hopefully the next few months going fast and an easy labor. Wishful thinking I'm sure! I guess the only thing that matters is that me and the baby are healthy:) Thank you everyone for your kind messages and prayers. Love you all!

Reality- Part 5

After Al sent me his bold text and I had rejected him, things stopped progressing for a long time. He stopped texting me, talking to me at school, and actually started avoiding me in the hallway. But, really... do you blame him? He didn't want to waste his time if I wasn't going to give him the time of day. 

For some reason though, I couldn't stop thinking about him. I missed texting him. I missed when he would awkwardly say hi to me in the hallway. Why?? I didn't understand! I don't like him, right? Then, why can I not stop thinking about him? He's really funny and way nice! I just.... I just... ugh! I really couldn't explain it. I have know idea what my problem was. Was I still hanging on to the idea of my Mr. Senior? Possibly. But, really, I hadn't talked to Mr. Senior for more than 4 months now. I had pretty much given up on that. Plus, he was graduating here shortly and would be out into the real world not thinking about his pathetic little Junior anymore. 

I wouldn't say I was all of a sudden falling for Alek because I wasn't. It's like I realized what I was missing when He just completely stopped paying attention to me. I missed his attention!

So, what did I do? I started texting him. Not a lot. Maybe just a few times a week. Most of the time he wouldn't respond. And on the rare occasions he would respond, he would be very short with me and end the conversation quickly. Of course, he was just as confused. Talking to Alek now about it, he was so frustrated! He liked me but I had turned him down. He was trying to move on but I kept trying to talk to him. He did not like that!

However, I would get so excited when he would finally text me back! I don't know why... I still was telling myself I wasn't interested. I just loved talking to him. 

One day at school I was walking to go out to seminary. I saw Alek and his friend, you know...being boys and wrestling in the hallway. I walked passed them and said "Behave!" in a very flirty manner and maybe fluttered my eyes a little. Alek froze in his tracks and gave me the most surprised face I had ever seen!  Like, his eyes could not have gotten any bigger! He just sat there and stared at me.

I walked away pretty quickly and confused. What did I say? Why was that so awkward? I sat and thought about that incident all through seminary. Did he take me seriously? I was just trying to be funny! I wasn't trying to be mean! Finally I got a text from Al

"What was that about?"

"What do you mean? All I said was 'Behave' I wasn't trying to be rude!"

"Oh...."

"Now I'm embarrassed..."

"What? Why?

"I thought you said, 'Hey babe!' My bad...."

Ahhh... this explained his speechless expression and all the awkwardness. I was kind of embarrassed that he had thought I had said that! "Hey babe?!" pshhhhh..... who did he think I was?  I decided to just laugh it off and pretend like nothing happened!

After the mis-communication, Al did start to text me more often and I liked that. I loved texting him! It was different. There were never any awkward times, like "what should we talk about now?" Conversations were easy and boy, did he make me laugh! It got to the point where we were texting at least once a day. 

One night, I was telling him about how I had my end of year math test the next day. I told him I was so nervous!! The next day on my way to my math class, I ran into Alek who was waiting for me in front of the math hall.

He said," I have to give you something very important."

"Okay..."

"I always keep this with me and it has brought me pretty good luck. I want you to take it"

 He pulled out a little green coin with a clover on it. He grabbed my hand and put the coin in it, closed my fingers and gave me hand a lil squeeze. 

"Good luck on your math test."

And he walked away. Awww I'm sure I was blushing! 

I actually did very well on my math test! I found him afterwards and tried to give him his lucky coin back. But, he refused and told me to keep it. Believe it or not, 5 years later, I still carry it with me in my wallet!  So far, I'd have to say it's brought me pretty good luck! ;)

Boldness-Part 4

After the Sweethearts dance, things went back to normal, just like  I wanted and to Alek's disappointment. He still texted me and I replied every once in awhile. We did have one computer class together and we sat on opposite sides of the room. Every now and then, Alek would come sit next to me and have me "help" him with his homework. I was flattered that he was trying so hard but still not very interested.

I wasn't thinking too much about Mr. Senior anymore either. I hadn't heard from him in a few months and was slowly giving up hope. I'm sure if he would've came back to me with open arms, I would've been one very happy girl but, I was getting the idea that I needed to start moving on.

Plus, I was pretty distracted with Drill team. It was the end of our season and we were getting ready for our final dance review. It was always one of my favorite parts of the year. Competition season was over and we all just got to spend the last couple weeks as a team, having fun!  

As the review day came, all us girls spent the whole day together. We were so excited to be together but not wanting the season to end. That night as we were getting our hair fixed, make up done, and laughing non stop, boys were the last thing on my mind. But, of course, right before we were about to start the show, I decided to check my phone. I had a text from Al. Very quickly I decided to read it.

"Hey, Linds. I'm going to be pretty bold here. I like you. A LOT." (haha typing this made me laugh.  If you watched the Bachelor with Juan Pablo you would understand.) "I think you're really pretty and I have loved the times we've hung out. I would like to know how you feel about me? Or.. if I even have a chance or if I'm just wasting my time. Let me know." 

Whoa. What? It was so much to take it, and to hear him actually admit it!

"Alright ladies, time to go!" and before I could process anything else we were all being funneled through the hallway, making our way to the gym floor. 

I tried not to think about Alek and what he said as I danced but, honestly I couldn't get him out of my mind.

Here's some flashback pics of the good ol' drill team days

After the wonderful night of dancing ended, I checked my phone as soon as I could and re-read Al's text message about a dozen more times.

"Hey, Linds. I'm going to be pretty bold here. I like you. A LOT." "I think you're really pretty and I have loved the times we've hung out. I would like to know how you feel about me? Or.. if I even have a chance or if I'm just wasting my time. Let me know."

I still couldn't believe it.
Took guts for him to just come right out and say it.

On the way home I told my dad about it. It seemed to strike his interest.

"How do you feel about him?"

"Um... well... I think he's nice and I have fun with him."

"And..?"

"And.. Well....  I just have never thought of him in that type of way. I guess... I just see us more as friends."

And so that is what I replied back. Pretty much told Al I wasn't interested. The worst part? He never said anything back to me. :(  AWWW man. Broke the poor kids heart! I'm a horrible person, right? How did we ever end up together? Haha he must been pretty good at forgiving  ;)

Last Resort- Part 3

About a month after our first date, it was time to start thinking about who to ask to the girls choice, Sweet Hearts Dance that was coming up. Of course I knew who I wanted to ask, my hot senior crush. But, he hadn't talked to me since the time he invited me to the basketball game. I figured he had moved on. I decided I should probably find someone else to ask.

My friend Rachel was in a same class with Alek and sat next to him. She said he was really funny and talked about me a lot! She told me I should ask him. I did NOT like that idea. I got the vibe that he liked me and I thought for sure if I asked him to the dance it would totally lead him on, when I wasn't really into him at all. Since the date He had been texting me every once in awhile and very rarely did I text him back.  I didn't want him to get the wrong idea.

Finally, after some pushing and shoving from Rachel, and not being about to find anyone else to go with, I decided to ask Alek at the last minute.

I ran to the dollar store and grabbed anything I could find that was pink. My dad gave me his parents number... (werid) and I called up his parents asking if they could somehow get Alek out of the house and if it was okay if I came and decorated his room to ask him to the dance. 

I covered his room in pink flowers, confetti, and balloons. Then, made a poster that said "I'd be tickled pink if you went to sweethearts with me." I had my name stuck inside one of the balloons. So... creative huh? Seriously I came up with that idea within like 2 minutes.

A few hours later, I get a text from Al saying, 

"Was it your idea for me to go buy tampons to get me out of the house?"

Haha.... I was like, "What?! NO!" 

He thought that was pretty funny.

I could tell Alek was pretty excited to the dance together. He started texting me way more often. I felt bad ignoring him all the time.
The day of the dance rolled around and so did a giant snow storm! I HATE driving in the snow. But I had to drive all the way out to Al's house and pick him up and then back across the valley to Rachel's house. There were cars slipping and sliding off the road everywhere. I was so paranoid! My hands were sweating like crazy. But we made it!

For the day date we made sugar cookies and then took them to Williamsburg retirement home and gave them to elderly people for Valentines Day. Most people in the group weren't thrilled to be doing this for the day date. But, it turned out to be an awesome experience. We split up into groups and visited with people that didn't get visitors very often. They were thrilled to have someone to talk to and would talk about the most random things. Spending time with elderly is sure to brighten anyone spirit :) They are the sweetest people! It was especially meaningful to me because my great grandpa was staying there at that time and I made sure that my group was able to visit him. He didn't remember who I was but I could tell he could recognize me as someone familiar because he didn't take his eyes off me. :) We gave him a plate of cookies and chatted with him for a little bit. Then as we were leaving, he stopped us and asked if we could sing him "I am a Child of God." It took us off guard but of course we couldn't say no.  My little group sang to him and he had tears running down his face by the time we finished. I gave him a giant hug and we left.
My grandpa passed away a few years ago so its very special to have that memory of him. And it's even more special that Alek was able to meet my grandpa and share that experience with me even though we had no idea what our future held at that time. :)

That night driving to dinner and the dance was ever more scarier. The roads had gotten way worse. The wind was blowing ice and the roads were covered with ice. Seriously the worst driving experience I've ever had! Alek could tell I was nervous and did a good job at keeping me calm. I was thankful for that!

The dance was actually pretty fun! I think sense I wasn't worried about impressing Alek I was able to go crazy and just be myself instead of being all nervous and awkward. Trust me.... at one point I took my shoes off and was on the ground playing the air guitar...
Talking to Alek now about it, he says it made him have an even bigger crush on me because I was able to act myself around him. :0 and I quite enjoyed myself because I did and said whatever I wanted without worrying if Alek was thinking I was crazy. I just didn't care at all!
After the dance we dropped off Rachel's date, so she tagged along as the 3rd wheel while I drove Alek home. Roads were finally cleared by this point. So... Rachel and I decided to blast a little Celine Dion and Josh Groban and had ourselves a (very loud) sing off. We sang at the top of our lungs all the way to Alek's house and Alek sat in the passenger seat awkwardly laughing at us. At that point I'm sure he thought I was completely crazy. I remember thinking after I dropped him off that that was probably the last time I would talk to him. I had scared him away for sure! ;)